Genie (2023) - It's a Christmas Movie. The End.

Movies like Genie are far too bland to bless with heavy handed words or any sort of analysis beyond its surface value. For if one were to even attempt such a feat, they would find nothing. In layman's terms, "what you see is what you get." And what is there is fairly expected, safe, and simply "fine," which are both the kindest and worst things I can say about it. But if you insist on knowing more, I can certainly try.

Genie follows down on his luck, mildly work-o-holic/push-over dad, Bernard (Paapa Essiedu), who commits the try-and-true Christmas cinema sin of choosing work over family. So after missing his daughter's birthday and forgetting her gift back at his office, his wife, Julie (Denée Benton), feels it's best if they separate for a time. But luckily for him, he stumbles upon a jewelry box containing a magical genie named Flora (Melissa McCartney), who's determined to help Bernard win back his family.

I'll give you the broad strokes. Bernard messes up and loses his family. Through use of unlimited wishes with very little restriction (not spoilers, I promise), mild magical hijinks ensues, leading him to periodically succeed and fail to win over his family. In the end, through a magic loophole, he's able to set things right, win back his family's love and enjoy a Merry Christmas.

By the end, I'm not sure if Bernard learns much. He's fairly static, possibly learning only that making the initial considerate choice is much more important than trying to make up for not making it in the first place. Not a bad lesson, but also not one that warrants this movie's existence. Sure, there's some mild entertainment here and there (mostly from Malissa McCartney doing her Malissa McCartney thing) and I'll even give it props for introducing a few wacky scenarios, but none of them are pushed far enough or given much cinematic weight, leaving you feeling "meh." To unnecessarily drive the point home, it's an unseasoned cheeseburger of a film as interesting as exotic shades of tan or as refreshing as a breath of 67 degree office space air.

Go watch Aladdin. Go watch Kazam. A Christmas Story. Harry Potter. Whatever! It can literally be anything minutely related to genies, magic, or Christmas, because I promise you, whatever that movie happens to be, it will do one or all of those things far better than Genie ever could. I guaran-DAMN-tee it. However, if you're merely content to have something benign and Christmas-ee lingering in the background, then look no further.

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